August 10, 2007

And Now For Some Top Ten Lists

Sometimes a little laugh can unite us. I wish it were my own idea to write the following lists, but it isn't. Instead, it was prompted at the invitation of David Gayes, Growing Up With A Disability, for the Disability Blog Carnival. The Carnival has been a unifying activity among lots of disabled folks and I hope you will read, via David's blog, some of what is written there. (You can double-click the title of this post to get to his blog...)

The most recent "theme" for the Carnival has to do with Top Ten lists. Both of mine relate to E., of course, and I truely hope you enjoy them. The first has to do with the things folks have said to me over the years about my epilepsy and about me. See how many of these you can relate to:

Top Ten Dumbest Things People Have Said to Me about My Epilepsy:

10. I can’t catch this from you, can I?

9. I hope you never have a child---what if you were holding the baby and had a seizure? You could drop it...

8. You’ll outgrow it.

7. Epilepsy’s not so bad---at least you can’t die from it!

6. OK---so you have epilepsy: you take your pills and it goes away!

5. You have epilepsy so you must be retarded.

4. Don’t worry about having a fit---I’ll just shove something between your teeth and you will be fine!

3. You can’t work here: you’d frighten the others too badly if you had a fit!

2. I can’t rent to you---I'd love to if it were just up to me, but if I do my insurance rates would go up if you had a fit!

1. Of course epilepsy has nothing to do with willpower---but you could try a little harder to stop seizing, couldn’t you?

But the general population isn't the whole source for dumb or arrogant commentary on E.---if I had a nickel for every time a doctor or nurse made a dumb comment, I'd be independently wealthy by now. But, here are ten of them:

The Top Ten Dumbest Things Doctors Have Said About My Epilepsy:

10. You’ll probably outgrow it---others have.

9. Your mother was likely frightened by something while she was pregnant with you.

8. Are you Catholic? An exorcism might work.

7. We’ll just keep switching your pills until we find the right ones for you to take.

6. Too much television is causing your seizures.

5. I’ve read your test results and they say it’s epilepsy---but I don’t think that’s what’s causing your seizures.

4. You’re still seizing? Are you sure you’re taking all your pills, everyday?

3. You’re twenty pounds too heavy for a child your age---fat is what’s causing your seizures.

2. You probably have an allergy to something and that’s what’s causing you to seize so much.

1. Your hair is too heavy for your head---cut it off short, and the seizing will stop!

Check out David Gayes' blog: Growing Up With A Disability. The Top Ten Carnival begins August 23rd!
I can hardly wait to read some of the other lists as they appear!


David said...

It should be fun! The carnival will be Aug 23. See you then!

Nuri said...

That can't be true, some of those questions are too stupid to come from a doctor!

Philip. said...

I bet you wanted to slap some of the people who made these comments!! :-)

Jacqui said...

Sorry. I have to go find some M&Ms/strong coffee/glass of red wine. Those comments are too much.

Never That Easy said...

"Cut your hair?" Really? Wow, and I thought I had been to some of the stupidest doctors out there...

Kay Olson said...

Your hair is too heavy? Jeez! I know from experience there's a whole lot of stupid out there, but that's the best of it I've heard.

Ann said...

wow. what more is there to say than that?

ignorance abounds....but "whodathunk" it'd be so in the medical community?